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01:35 Why do people choose people that don’t choose them?
01:56 How do you choose yourself?
03:24 What it means to choose yourself
04:40 How to attract your desired relationship
06:19 Become aware of your beliefs
07:51 Reflect back on your childhood
09:05 The power of vulnerability
11:25 The more vulnerable the more attractive
13:23 Join the challenge!
So you clicked onto this video for a reason, and I’m just gonna come out here and say it, this isn’t the easiest thing to share with you. And there’s a lot of transformation that can come from realizing this though.
If you are attract emotionally unavailable people into your life, it’s because at a certain level you are emotionally unavailable.
Now, I know this is hard to hear, and I had to swallow this pill, and it was not easy pill to swallow, okay?
Here I was experiencing relationships where the people I would attract would be emotionally unavailable, and then I had this story, oh, they’re just not emotionally present, they’re avoiding doing the work, they’re not choosing me.
And deep down what I eventually realized is that I would only attract that because it’s a mirror of my own energy. I was also emotionally unavailable and that’s why I was attracting someone that was emotionally unavailable, because it was a mirrored direct reflection.
So you might ask yourself now, okay Aaron, well, you’re saying I have this thing where I’m actually emotionally unavailable, I thought it was them, but how do I actually become more emotionally available so that I attract emotionally available love, or I go deeper in my relationship or whatever it is?
How do I actually do that? Now, for me, what I had to learn to do is this one phrase changed everything. And I posted this on Instagram recently and I had so many people ask me about this and this is why I’m making the video.
And basically what it was is I said, why do people choose people that don’t choose them? And a lot of times people will choose people that are emotionally unavailable that can’t choose them, why do you do that?
Well, the reason we choose people that don’t choose us is because we’re not choosing ourselves. And then people say, Aaron, how do you choose yourself?
I got so many dms of questions about this, how do you choose yourself? How do I choose yourself? Well, I’ll share with you what I did, and even just recently, within the last couple months, I’ve began choosing myself in a way unlike anything I’ve ever done before.
Now I’m moving into a phase of my life where I feel very empowered.
I’m moving from just making YouTube videos into running live events, I’m stepping into the unknown, I feel just so much like power beginning to like unleash within me.
And as this has been happening, I’ve been questioning why I believed what I believed. I’ve been questioning why I believed people are just emotionally unavailable, believing I deserve emotional unavailability, why I am also like afraid or had that afraid energy around emotional availability to where I would like keep it at bay.
And what I’ve realized is there was just so much of my life that I lived in survival mode where it’s like my nervous system wouldn’t understand what that emotional availability is even if it was there.
And what I’ve had to do recently is look at this and realize that a lot of times what I would do is distract myself from doing my own work by projecting it onto other people and saying, this person’s not emotionally available.
This person’s not present. And then I would be like be able to put the work to the side.
But what I’ve realized is that the key to me being in my own magnetic energy, the key to me feeling more emotionally available and attracting emotionally available people was when I began choosing myself, choosing myself meaning also appreciating myself.
This meant like realizing that what I really enjoy, one of the parts of my life I really enjoy is I like being alone.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I won’t be in a relationship, or I don’t want a relationship or anything, this means I started appreciating being in my own energy, literally like at nighttime, I love learning things, I love watching certain things, I love learning and watching YouTube videos, I love reading, I love meditating.
Like my subconscious I believe is very active. I love dreaming. And I’ve realized I do love being in my own energy, and before that I never realized how much I appreciated myself.
I never realized how much I appreciated being alone, not lonely, alone, they’re different. Lonely is like, ooh, you don’t feel that one with everything and you think there’s a problem, when you’re alone you can be completely content in your own energy.