FLOP 30: Is the Climate Hoax Finally Over?

Guess what, folks? The climate emergency has been cancelled!

That’s right, as my listeners will know by now, no less a personage than famed climate crusader Dr. [sic] Bill Gates is now admitting that climate change “will not lead to humanity’s demise” after all.

As my loyal listeners will also know by now, Gates has his reasons for backtracking on his decades of climate scare-mongering. (SPOILER: it’s not because he’s suddenly realized that the climate scare is a hoax!)

Unsurprisingly, this very public about-face has caused much hand-wringing in the clique of climate fearmongers. Take Michael Mann—yes, that Michael Mann. He has already penned a lengthy screed to excoriate Bill for raining on the climate doomporn parade.

As for old Billy boy himself, he wants everyone to know that they’re getting him all wrong! ManBearPig is still super cereal, guys! In fact, Bill’s spending on the climate crusade is actually increasing!

But whether Gates’ backpedaling enables him to win him back his climate-fearing friends or not, perhaps the most important part of his new climate message was the timing of its release. You see, “Three tough truths about climate“—the blog announcing his changing views on the climate emergency—was subtitled “What I want everyone at COP30 to know,” and it was released on the eve of COP30, the UN’s annual global climate summit.

So, what does this (anthropogenic) tempest in a teapot tell us about the future of the climate scam? Let’s find out.